KFC me throw up

Monday I woke up pretty late and didn't eat any lunch. So when my roommate Jess asked me if I wanted to go to dinner I was pretty excited. I had a little extra cash and she was going to be driving. Zin. Where are we going? KFC. Colleen Rachel and Jess always talk about the glories of KFC and how delicious and filling it is. When I was growing up we went to KFC maybe twice. And both of those times the food was free because they sponsored my brother's baseball team.

The idea sounded perfect. WHY have I never gone to KFC on my own? Delicious crispy chicken? Endless possibilities for side items? There seemed to be no flaws in the dinner decision.

So I blew off my night class and we drove to North Oakland. I decided on crispy chicken breast potato wedges and mashed potatoes. Carb heavy but I was at KFC, its not like I was following a diet.

I inhaled my food with a smile. In less than 15 minutes all of our food was finished, including two big boxes. Let me tell you there is nothing attractive, or even humane about eating KFC. Whatever you are eating you look like a beast devouring your prey between your fingers. The beast-like eating mentality is encouraged with your rationed prepackaged dining set with a 1/2 ply napkin and a fork.You inevitably leave with grease stains on your pants. As for the food, the mashed potatoes are liquid, the butter squeezes out of a ketchup package and the potato wedges have human fingernails in them (that could be false).

No one moved for the next thirty minutes until we got back into the car.It hurt our stomachs even to speak. The car was definitely driving a little lower to the road with our fat asses in there, adding about 20 pounds since the ride to the restaurant.

I went to class after and thoroughly regretted my dining decision. Why does it take an hour to realize EVERYTHING you ate was fried. I had to go to the bathroom twice during a class I didn't even arrive to on time. And now 5 and a half hours later, I still feel like I am going to throw up. This is why I never went to KFC, and why my mom never encouraged it. It is disgusting, and it makes you feel like shit. How is KFC still in business? I hate myself.