Big n Tasty

This week was probably the most blah week of my life. I was in a bad mood 99.999999% of the time, and i was just plain bored. "Ennui" is the word in french that we just learned, meaning not just boring or bored, but stagnate -- like nothing is changing and it never will.

Let me just say this: I HATE ENNUI and it's consuming my liiiife. Yea it might have been a French poetry movement in the 1600s but I feel like its MY LIFE NOW.

Ok, enough melancholy.. This weekend was homecoming at Pitt. People were EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. I was slightly annoyed. I mean, all we wanted to do was go to Garage Door on a Friday night at 1030 and get a table. Did that happen?

GOD NO.

We had to squeeze into the bar area in the back by the pool tables, where we "stole" the area of long haired Kevin (I don't think that was his name, but lets call him Kevin from now on).

Let me tell you a little about long-haired Kevin. He has long hair tied back in a ponytail. He was DAMN SEXY (sarcasm). And he brought he own pool stick to Garage Door.

barf. everywhere.

When Cait spilled her beer on the floor, long-haired Kevin felt like it went on his leather jacket that was saving his chair. Poor long-haired Kevin. Chivalry still exists since he was kindly saving the stool for his own sweaty ass. Regardless, no beer got on his jacket yet he felt the need to act annoyed that beautiful girls were surrounding him and proceeded to wipe imaginary beer off his 1971 leather jacket.

Kope was funny because she kept talking to him, "PLEEASE, there is NO beer on your jacket -- GeT OVER IT."

Finally he must have lost his pool game because he packed up his pool stick and left us all alone at Garage Door.

Poor long-haired Kevin.

Tensions are high in our apartment because we all had sucky weeks, and we all fought before we went out. But everything was fine since our fighting was slightly fake and basically we were all just annoyed with each other.. still whenever I put pictures on facebook the album will be entitled: the night we all hated each other.

The best part of the night was when we took emotion pictures. Either Heather or Eve called out an emotion and we acted.

I'M TELLING YOU NOW: if i'm not a famous actress in five years, call me, because I might be stuck under a fallen bookshelf or something because DAMN girl i got talent.

Lastly, SNL has rocked my world the past couple of weekends. This week Jon Hamm hosted (lead actor from Mad Men) and he was fucking hilarious. Also, the digital short was outrageous and completely entertaining:
That's actually not it, but I feel appropriate for understanding and appreciating the wonder that is Andy Samberg.

It was actually about Rastafarianism, which I had to wiki after my roommates and I watched the skit about seven times. According to wiki: "The Rastafari movement (also known as Rastafari, Rastafarianism or simply Rasta) is a monotheistic, Abrahamic, New Testament, new religious movement that accepts both Jesus Christ and Haile Selassie I, the former Emperor of Ethiopia, as incarnations of God, called Jah or Jah Rastafari. Haile Selassie is also seen as part of the Holy Trinity and as the returned messiah promised in the Bible."
That's the only picture I could find, but it's appropriate.

Oh as to the title I ate the BEST big n tasty after we left Garage on Friday.. fyi. hum hooo.

Brother is Gonna Work it Out

I am so excited for this election. I wish I could be there, but I trust you are holding things together Lindsay. This is the first presidential election that I can vote, and its so fucking crucial. I seriously believe that Obama will bring change to America and end the war responsibly. Just the fact that he isn't using negative campaigning or sleezy robocalls, like McCain, is encouraging enough of new politics.

Honestly even if he does a one-third of what he has proposed with health care, education and foreign policy, we will be so much better off.


I have said before that I am not leaving France if McCain is elected, but I think Tina Fey said it even better when she was talking to TV Guide:

"We're gonna take it week by week. If she wins, I'm done. I can't do that for four years. And by 'I'm done,' I mean I'm leaving Earth."

SO. I am being one of those people who is getting "cocky" and "feeling giddy" because I'M SORRY, he WILL win. ZIN. He has 264 electoral votes to McCain's 163. And there is only 111 points left from NV, CO, MO, OH,FL, IN, NC and VA (although only the REAL, AMERICAN parts of Virginia are going to count).

Le Monde had some great statistics from the last debate and un nombre des mots (word count).

• McCain said Joe the Plumber 21 times, and Obama 4 times.
• Obama said Economy 22 times and working class 6 times.
• McCain said economy only 7 times and didn't mention working class or middle class Americans.
  

I guess this really doesn't mean much, except that Obama is a better speaker. But he really did dominate in all of the debates.


"This election has never been about me. It's about you. In defining moments like this one, Change doesn't come from Washington, it comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it. Because they rise up and insists on new ideas, and new leadership. New politics for a new time. America, this is one of those moments."

In other news, my brothers are coming to Paris in a week. I haven't seen Matt for six months and I have not seen "Chrisn' Matt" for almost 2 YEARS. GOD. How rich, all of us are 21 in Europe. I think we are going to go to London for Guy Fawkes day too. Unreal.

Hum Ho. miss you lindsay. miss pittsburgh and kelly martin.

A Call For Costumes

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE FOR HALLOWEEN? I want it to be smart and funny and fucking awesome. But I want the french to understand me, so it can't be an obscure American political figure.

How about a painting? Okay. I could be 1740's shrimp girl?
Hogarth is still a pretty popular artist right? But where would I find the outfit? And I might not seem approachable or down to earth.

I want it to be sexy so I cant go with my original plan of Vigo from ghostbusters.Haha. Like that is a plan. I am pretty positive I resemble him everyday I wake up. So. I want it sexy but not skanky sexy, obvi. Like secret, french woman sexy. Does this blog not make sense? Deal with it its 4:40 in the morning in Paris. Hum. fucking. ho.

Nuit Blanche: Beaucoup d'alcool, pas beaucoup d'art

October 4th was Nuit Blanche a Paris, which is when all of the museums and churches stay open all night as well as the bars. It is also a night when Paris celebrates the birth of Sofia Noriega, my beautiful roommate.

Lauren and I left the apartment around ten and went to see Patti Smith play at Saint Germain des Pres. But when we got there, you had to already have tickets, which may seem obvious to everyone, but it wasn't at the time.

So Patti, kind of a bitch. We walked on and looked for some art exhibitions. The only thing we saw was Ryoji Ikeda's light projection. And then we said "Putin sa grace" fuck it, and were ready to be drinking. We had a bit of champagne for Sofia's birthday and walked around by Notre Dame and Chatlet.

Then around 1 we went to the first club and STARTED THE PARTY. Seriously, we started dancing and the bar stepped it up. Fake snakes everywhere, dancing on the table. FUN. Iquo was probably the reason dancing was so much fun, she is ridiculous. She actually grinded a water bottle out of my hand, at one point.

Then Lauren and I started talking to a frenchie who quickly became annoying and sketchy. I told him my name was ally and he thought it was 'allez' and tried to make a comedy routine out of it. Not funny. And then he offered a drink so of course I accepted and he goes and picks up a cup from the floor. I am sure it was from a rufie lab, downstairs so I was like NO THANKS.

Time to leave to the next bar. It is about 3 am, and Natalia and Bretlanne are easily the drunkest. Natalia yelled something which I heard as "I'm a FUCKING maverick!" so that was making me laugh all night. We move to a canadian bar and Natalia walks up to a group of british guys who are wearing odd outfits, and screams "WHAT IS THIS GET UP?" haha.

I was a classy lady and didnt get too drunk. And I met some wonderful British guys, Tom especially. We talked about music (reh CARDS) and movies, Ricky Gervais and anthropology. Then at 5 the bar closed and we met some of our friends outside. We sat by the Seine River and drank champagne, until 7 AM. Then Rivo and Rotsy walked us to our metro stop, and we got off a stop early and walked home in the sunrise. Beautiful.

That Sunday I slept until 6pm and then went out to dinner with Sofia. Mmmmm I had spicy tuna sushi.



Things have been good since then. My dad visited and had a good time. And I finally made the perfect print for this hemingway assignment in Photo. Yay.

Love you Lindsay! Missing your gutss.

hey i don't care if it's midterms, ally, post a BLOGG about your british loverr.

the title says it all. look at this pretty picture instead of words:

I'm friends with my old pastor on facebook.

Well, I have encountered a few slightly traumatic events in the past few days. Well really only one.. but i've been stressed. FIRST, i sign into facebook and see i have a friend request.. saaweeeet. love makin new friends.

so i click. WHO pops up? my ollllllllllld pastor. Old in both senses of the word. He's fifty yrs old and isn't preachin at my church anymore. (In an effort to be more like sarah palin, i'm removin the -g from my verbs, so DEAL.) so what do i do? I can't NOT accept him, but i also CAN'T accept for these multiple reasons:

1. he's a repub. and barack obama literally has thrown up on my facebook page. he's everywhere.
2. my last last three wall posts at the time all revolved around "cock day." a day kope made up in my agenda and we felt like actually celebrating.. we didn't.
3. my last album title? RAPING THE CONTINENTAL SHELF. he lives in florida now.
4. last 70 pictures of me? 58 of them i'm at garage with a bottle in my hand.

WHAT IS MY LIFE.

so last night we drank out of christmas mugs then went to garage (shocking). kope and i took saferider back at 415 in the morning after sitting on derek's front porch for 2 hours. he flicked a cigarette at my head then i kicked him in the balls. fin.

p.s. alpal xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo. i miss you hum ho.

rAnDommmnessss xoxo

I wouldn’t call myself a mean person, but I would be lying. I sort of love criticizing people, especially girls. But I think it is ridiculous when girls have photo albums entitled RaNdOm!! And it consists of awkward shots of themselves in their bed, in the bathroom or on the phone. Who enjoys looking at these? Can you put a kitten or a baby in your hands so we have something else to look at other than your huge fucking face? Obviously these people think they are attractive but in most cases they are the most repulsive people on the planet. And underneath their photos are captions that say “just me” or something mind numbingly stupid and superfluous, Maybe its JUST ME but it makes me want to barf, everywhere.

And now, one of those girls that went to my high school is engaged. YIKES. I do NOT want to be engaged but why is it when someone foul finds happiness I am bitter about it? I wasn’t close with this girl but when I walked into Fox and the Hound over the summer, I said hi. Literally after two seconds of exchanging pleasantries she mentions her boyfriend. Fine. That’s sweet, glad you’re happy. But then she tells me her mom doesn’t like him. I don’t know her mom, I don’t ask her why, and I don’t care why. But she goes on and says “LIKE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT COULD GET ME PREGNANT, YOU KNOW? SO I ASKED MY MOM.” That person is engaged, probably going to have kids right away. She is also voting for John McCain, just to tie things into politics. hum HOOO.

Maybe I am malicious because Paris was not being cute today. I woke up to ASSHOLES tearing up the sidewalk at 7 AM in the morning. My bed was seriously fucking shaking like a vibrating hotel bed. I was swearing so much and SLAMMING things down. Lauren was actually frightened of my intensity. I HATE mornings, especially when I am woken up earlier than I expected. Then I had to go to Shalini Legall’s class, my idiotic art teacher. I gave the construction workers dirty looks as I passed them this afternoon, maybe they will get the point and drop dead. Then we went to McDonalds for the purpose of Monopoly but it isn’t going on in France. And they do not have iced coffee, so it is useless to me. And I went to the photo lab to develop film and I think something is WRONG with my camera because most of the negatives were overexposed. And I left around 9 in the rain, without my umbrella. Why is Paris so dreary tonight? Hum ho?

senator o'biden

is it wrong that mr. biden is the cutest man i've ever seen? honest to GOD. he has the prettiest smile and he really is better than you.

i don't know if anything could make me stand sarah palin but when she called him sen o'biden, i kinda felt like that should actually be his name. obama-obiden? perfectly zinnnn.

but listen in other news, watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vtHwWReGU0&feature=related

there are about 75 people in there that i wish to cuddle with.. jen aniston might be one. WHATEVER. she's my female crush. i will not apologize.

powell and i layed in the cathedral flowers last night on our way to the bar to reenact sophmore year pictures... but last night the pictures were BLURRY.
whatever, i talked politics at the bar and we played jo bros twice at garage. all in all? HUM HO.

Hum Ho-ing in the Blogosphere

HEY BLOG READERS! (read: HEY LINDSAY!)


First of all I would like to thank the jerk that took humho as a blogspot. I am pretty positive that we created the phrase HUM HO and all of the connotations that go along with it. And what is worse his blog isn't funny, or smart or EXISTENT. He hasnt written anything! What a fuck!

So the purpose of the blog is to keep in touch while we are in different parts of the world. And for those of us that graduate (a big fuck you to leslie smedley), we can keep writing as we are in different cities for grad schools or jobs.

Paris is amazing. I have never been so in love with a city. We live in an apartment in the 13 arrondisment. Its a nice little home for 4 months, but has only one mini fridge for four girls and a recent installment of terrifying curtains.

I had an awful trip into the city, because the night before I couldn't go out and was laying in bed with a 104 degree temperature. Then on the flight I threw up and could not fall asleep. Then when I finally arrived all of my roommates were here and I got the shitty bits of the apartment; no mirror, a broken shelf, and no curtains. So I asked the Housing department of the program for new curtains and they finally sent someone over yesterday. He had a thick Scottish accent so I kept asking him to repeat things. But he wasnt saying anything important, so I started just nodding along with whatever he said and reading Cosmo.

Not a good idea because after I finished taking a quiz on how willing I am to change for a guy, (Lindsay do you know what MO means? as in "If your friends were asked about your MO in a relationship what would they say?") I looked up and saw the Scott had actually GLUED fabric to my window. He was now saying:

"ouz gat a knee tacks heeya"

which is do you have any tacks here? NO. NO I DON'T. I didn't realize he would be gluing shit to my window, I think I could have done that. And he had other colors so I think he asked if it was okay to use red. Which if I would have understood him I would not have nodded along. I cannot understand Scottish accents. I couldnt read Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting or even finish watching Snatch (which I have tried on several occasions). Pretty sad.

But now the color, which blocks out any form of light, and the dripping glue looks like blood. I feel like I am living in the Reign of Terror, or just a goth 13 year old's bedroom.


Ugh.

In other news I cannot break away from American culture. Seriously I am on facebook way too much and watching Weeds (fucking INCREDIBLE in season 4) and presidential debates. Hum ho, what are you going to do?

I did buy some GREAT Parisian boots and a new skirt. And I am going to get my hair cut like THIS.
All these things should help me be more French.

So that is about it, I am going out to a new bar tonight called Cafe Oz, and tomorrow is Nuit Blanche where the entire city including churches, train stations and museums stays open until 5 o clock in the morning.

Linds are you going to Fall Fest with Saves the Day? I still cannot believe they are playing at Pitt for free. They are one of my favorite bands, and I have liked them since freshman year of high school. Fall fest was my chance to make love with Chris Conley. Hum ho.

Okay, hope you are entertained by our first blog post. Hummmm ho.