An Open Letter to les Sans Abri of Paris

Excusez-moi, de vous deranger.... but could you not show me your penis?

Hey. I know its tough to live in a city that is below freezing, and to not have a house. I know vous voulez logement comme toute le monde, but what is going on? I got on the metro today and was pleasantly surprised when the first car was almost empty. Sweet, I can have a seat and relaxing nap during my commute to school. This was not the case. I hopped into the metro and immediately smelled giant horse droppings and cat litter. What is this nasty odor? Well I look to my left and there you are. Laying on the floor of the metro, with your pants down. I can hardly comprehend how a human smells this foul. But the smell isnt repulsing enough is it? No you had to go and show me your weiner. Pull your jeans up, tuck your balls back in and get off the metro. There a plenty of churches you can get some new clothes and change your life. If you are not into relgion, pretend to be a student. Invest in a backpack and then you can take naps on campus. Invest in a dog and take up a hobby like playing a flute. These ideas will make you some money and get you out of the cold. So please get the fuck off the metro, so I dont have to hold back my vomit and snuggle in my scarf to breathe.


THANKS,

ally

a la mode

I just came back from Les Arts Decoratifs where there was an exposition on Sonia Rykiel. We went with Thierry, my Haute Couture professor. He is so cute. He always wears fitted suits with a nice tie and a wool trench coat. He says things like "ta ta!" and glides when he walks. But the exposition was amazing, much different from Valentino's earlier in the semester. And the photos from Dominique Issermann were beautiful. Rykiel was a famous french designer for a couple of reasons; she was the first to put the seams on the outside of the clothing, she had amazing knitting skills and her fashion house was on the left bank (holla!) rather than the right, like other designers. She opened her own line in 1968 and most of the dresses and hats we saw looked like they were inspired by the 1930s because of the flower prints and knee length dress. I guess her fashion shows were different from others too because the models were having more fun with it and moving, rather than being sassy and pouty. And she hung out with Andy Warhol. AND A big theme among her collections over the years was stripes, which reminded me of Carrie Bradshaw's ensemble in An American Girl in Paris and I looked it up online and I was right! Which means I am an aspiring fashion critic or I watch a sickening amount of S&TC ( leaning more towards the latter).

I want to wear designer clothes. Why isn't this an option for me? I actually like my fashion class, and I thought I would would be critical of it. Because I'm sorry what is the relevance of fashion in the real world? When our professor asked us for a 6 page paper on the pea coat, I scoffed. Take a look at your life, its fashion: a hobby. That is like writing a paper on food, it exists and everybody needs it but don't write papers on vegetables. But once I stopped being a bitch, I realized that fashion, especially Haute Couture is more like fine art or sculpture. It is expensive but it can be worth it according to your taste. And these evening dresses that are covered in sequins or feathers can take years to create, and require skill. And the way it fits on the model and the movement of the fabric can be quite remarkable. Even Hemingway wrote in Moveable Feast, in Paris you can either be into art or fashion, there is not enough money for both. Do I sound pretentious yet? Hum ho.

Also did some Christmas shopping and picked these up for Nick. Shh it will be a surprise...Haha WHY would those EVER be okay. And what woman would be comfortable sharing a bed with a man in tights under his SHORTS. Casual wear.

So anyway here are some Christmas ideas for me, Linds if you are still searching for ideas...
Skirt
Adorable Cardigan
Cocktail dress for Erie
Day Dress
Clutch

And of course liposuction because I don't think they have pret-a-porter for the morbidly obese, comme moi.

I am going to the independent wine vineyard expo again today, to find a future husband who makes a smooth Bordeaux red wine. ta. ta.

Il n'y a qu'en Paris....

I am IN LOVE with Paris. It is the most amazing city in the entire world. Yesterday I woke up late and went to Park Monceau. It is chilly in the city so I layered up, charged my Ipod and got on the metro. My roommates went on an excursion, so I had the afternoon to myself. The park was beautiful and reminded me of a mini central park. It was created into a garden in 1769 and if it looks familiar, maybe thats because you saw it in our Fairview living room. Haha It is where Monet painted Parc Monceau (shocking). I walked around the park for about an hour or so taking pictures for photography class. It was the beginning of a perfect Paris afternoon.

Then I walked to the arc de triomphe and eventually got on the metro to head towards the grocery store. The sun was setting so when the train passed the tower I figured I would get out and take more pictures. I was taking pictures when a man asked me to watch his bike, while he makes a video. He returned in less than five minutes and we started talking. He said he was a writer and filmmaker in Paris and that he has had a lot of success. I was being short with him after my experience with Barcelona fucker, but he was really nice. After I realized he wasn't scum we started talking about art and the economy and of course, that sexy president elect of ours. He had a lot of interesting things to say, and I was holding my own in a french conversation. He kept saying that you have to experience the city on your own and not with your friends, just lose yourself completley in the city.

So after that he said that Balzac's house wasn't too far so we went on a walk. Seriously? I love Paris, where you can take afternoon walks with french writers. He showed me where the oldest road in the city was and the house and gardens that belonged to Balzac. It was refreshing to meet someone so genuine. He said I should stop by his studio at some point, which I might, but I am running out of time. Sad. Then I walked home in the dusk and spent close to 1000 euros on food and wine. Oh well, I took a cooking class so I wanted to make marinated shrimp and quiches.

As for you Lindsay, I miss you. I want it to be time for fugly party. That was the event of the year. I want to return to PA just for Christmas and then grab you and Kelly and my friend James and take you back to Paris with me. Zin? Yes.

Barcelona

We had fall break for a week and I bought a ticket to Barcelona about 4 days prior to leaving. It worked out and was still pretty cheap. I didn't have a place to stay but my friends Lauren and Sofia were there and Lauren said she had some friends studying there. So I asked to tag along with them. I left Paris around 10:30 and went to the Beauvais airport which is about an hour north of Paris. I got into Girona airport around 3:30 and got into Barcelona by bus around 4:30. I called Lauren and Sofia but couldn't get a hold of them. This didn't bother me because I could have sometime to myself. The city was quiet when I came in on a Monday afternoon. I walked through the park at the zoo and around some courtyards. It was a beautiful city, very narrow streets and brick buildings with laundry lines connecting them. The weather was warm and it was much cheaper than Paris. I decided to walk towards the water and found this little crustacean friend. Neat.

I was carrying my messenger bag and my camera bag so I really looked homeless in the streets of Barcelona, yet people STILL ASKED ME FOR MONEY. It was about 8 oclock and I was getting worried that I wouldn't meet up with my friends so I went into an internet cafe. And I facebooked lauren and got some directions.

I took a cab to the girls' apartment which was incredible. They all had separate rooms and a large fridge, a washer, a tv and dvd player, a CLEANING LADY, a balcony and a view of la sagrada familia. hum ho. We got ready and went to Barca del Salamanca for a fancy meal of paella with seafood and a dry white wine. It was so delicious. We had desserts and digestifs on the house. Glamorous.
But then we quickly stepped back into reality and went to the McDonalds and took shots of vodka out of a water bottle with Fanta. American Tradition. Then we went over to some guys' house and took more shots and smoked a bit. We didn't go out to the club until 2 AM but everyone acted like we were punctual, and heading out at an appropriate time. This club was awesome, except for the fact that it was a Monday, so not very busy. When one orders a jack and coke they give you a FULL cup of jack and a small bottle of coke. Check out the flowers on the ceiling.

So we left the club around 6 AM and just slept at the guys' house. Sofia and I stole someone's bed, which was kind of rude.

We woke up around noon and it was one of those times where you have NO IDEA where you are and your surroundings are giving you no clues. Guy's Room..what? Laundry hanging outside? Sofia. ohhh right I am in Barcelona. Anyway we debated getting high but just hopped on the metro to CEA to grab the key from Kelly and Sami (the girls we were staying with) since we didn't even have a change of clothes. The three of us walked into the school building HUNGOVER with yesterday's clothes and Lauren took off her shoes because they hurt her feet so bad. I wish we had a picture of us being pathetic sitting at the doors of CEA because they wouldn't let us in. Then Lauren just started yelling their names, to see if they could hear us. Ridiculous. We made it home and showered and Sofia and I went to La Sagrada Familia. Gaudi is AMAZING. One of the first things I noticed about Barcelona was how the trees even paralleled the architecture. And when we were inside the church, it pointed out all of the natural influences of Gaudi. The front of the church was the birth of Jesus and his earlier years and the back was the crucifixion. Gaudi died before it was finished and now architects and builders are still working on finishing it, and it won't be done until 2028. We went up the tower as well which gave a beautiful view of the city.

That night we went to Piperment which was famous for serving giant beers. Um. Yeah. These beers were giant. 13L which is about 50 beers. I thought it was a good idea, but it didn't really taste good and I am pretty sure I got sick from sharing a drink with 20 people. But it did allow me to talk about Oktoberfest with a new friend, who said he was there too. After that we went back home and did not wake up until 2 in afternoon.

I booked a hostel because Sofia and Lauren were going to the rest of Spain. We went to a fruit market and had a falafel that night. The falafels were SO DELICIOUS, they had a fresh food bar where you could add all the toppings you wanted and it came as cheap as 2.40 euros! And the fruit market had fresh coconut juice that was only .50 euro. HUM! HO! Sofia and Lauren went to catch their train and I went to my hostel and talked to my mom and went to bed kinda early.

The next day I had on my own. I went to Park Guell, Gaudi's park that overlooks the city. It was gorgeous. I took so many pictures and it was probably my favorite part of the trip. If I lived in Barcelona I would get lost in the park for days. Mmmm and bring fresh fruit from the market.

But unfortunately I chose to leave the park to go to the beach. I got there and sat by the water and was listening to Silver Jews on my i-pod and was finishing writing some thoughts down and a guy approaches me. He asked me a question but in Spanish. I don't understand him, obviously, so I say so and try to remember how to say "I dont speak spanish" and his creepy scummy spanish fucker friend snatched my camera bag and started running. I looked back and picked up my messenger bag which fell as he grabbed the strap. I started running after them but was almost tripping over my messenger bag and the fuck who took my bag was on a bike. I fell to the ground and cried. Fuck theives. Get a fucking job, or steal MONEY from the rich. So they maxed out my bank card, and stole my film camera with 3 rolls of film and my metro pass. They are probably going to throw out my film and metro pass. FUCKED. UP. I had film from Loire Valley and Park Guell. UGH. After going to the police station and playing "international crime charades," a name created by Kelly, for 3 hours I met up with Natalia. And we went to a bar crawl with some friends we met from the Hostel Bianca and Duffy. But at this point I was not pleased with Barcelona, and I will never return again without a strong male bodyguard.

Election Night in Paris

I was bummed I wasn't in Pittsburgh for the election, but we ended up having a great time at Palais M. My brothers are in town, so before we headed over to the club we met up with one of Gareth's friends Marc. He works for Luc Besson, so that gives you a clue to how awesome he really is. He was super friendly and suggested drinks at the Apiceuse. It looked like the exhibition hall for Aleksander Petrofsky in Sex and the City. He talked about his job, as an assistant to Besson and setting up screenings and such. Glamourous. We had some nice cocktails and desserts, and just chatted. We talked about the election and how important it was. Marc said he doesn't think France would elect a black president. He also gave us great ideas for where to eat around Paris. I don't go out to eat at all since its expensive and I spend my money on drinks and clothes and traveling, so it was nice to get some ideas where to take my brothers.It was a wonderful, quiet Parisian evening. Then we got ready to leave for the election party.

Originally I was planning on going to CineAqua for the election. It was 50 euros but you got 3 drinks and a victory breakfast, but it went up to 100 euros. Insane. So we went to Palais M. I didnt reserve because it was too late. When we got off the metro some people were like "Are you going to the Obama Party???? WELL good luck! You won't get in! They wont let anyone in!" But they were old and wearing tacky hats. So we walked on, still hopeful. And EASY PEASY. Sofia and I just insisted we were on the list, and VOILA we are in. cinch of a lifetime. It was crowded when we got in and they had 3 screens broadcasting the election results, as they happened. We also pushed our way up into the VIP platform somehow. It wasn't luxurious up there but a better view and a little less crowded. Sofia was pretty drunk and so was Lauren. I had been drinking but it was wearing off around 3am.

But I was still completely energized, which was shocking because I only slept 2 hours the previous night since I was finishing a paper. I was with my brothers and my friends and so happy. Around 3 ish they handed out Barack Obagels. Yum. And we danced and just had a good time.

Then around 5 after Barack had California, they announced Obama as the president elect. Amazing. the crowd went nuts. Flags were flying, people dancing, hugging, crying, murdering; the whole works.

When Barack gave his acceptance speech, I was crying. He is so passionate and patriotic. I mean I have been really emotionally lately anyway and was kind of out of it, but fuck, we were witnessing a historic event. It was the first time I was vraiment fiere of my country. After the speech we headed back on the metro. The brosephs were pretty tired because they aren't used to the party life. Chris wasn't enthused because he usually votes republican. vom. But we all had a good time.

Haha this picture makes me laugh because Matt was wearing an obama shirt THE WHOLE TIME, but didn't show it. And then he tried to in the picture but he just looked like a creeper, trying to take his shirt off.

Chris went back to Nashville, but Matt is here for a few more days, but he is sick. So he rested all day and then I went to the hotel and took mac pics and we watched Barack's press conference. Wow. I think the world is expecting a little too much from him. BBC world news was saying that he didnt impress them because he said nothing new, but....He has honestly been the president elect for 3 days, and kept saying, "There is only one president at a time, and I am not the president yet." But I am excited to come home to a democratic congress and prez. Hum ho!

stripes indicate party change

This election wasn't about Democrat vs Republican or liberalism vs conservatism, it was an American call for a pragmatic and intelligent government. Barack Obama's historic run for President-elect of the U.S.A., will definitely be well-documented, but this monumental achievement means absolutely nothing unless we all change for the better and do our part to heal and come together as a nation.

Barack Obama has inherited the worst United States of America since FDR (MSNBC told me so), and we will all expect him to deliever us the best United States when he leaves. I believe he will, but he's going to need our help. What does that mean? I'm not sure yet, but I guarantee you that we all must work together (even with REPUBLICANS UGH!). Side note: I read somewhere that Sean Hannity was crying in the male bathroom after Barack won. Not going to lie, that's great news.

For me, Barack spoke to me a while ago when I was still in high school, after the 04 election, when I was channel surfing and he was talking on CSPAN. He talked about how the Republican party hijacked religion, namely Christianity, and saying that they were basically the only ones who were truely religious. Now, religion is a touchy subject for most, and I truly believe its the cause of many, many great and yet many, many terrible things, but this man got it then when he spoke about the so-called connect between the Republican party and "religion" and he gets it now. I mean, homeboy is putting a basketball court in the White House and taking out the bowling alley.

This was my first Presidential election, and I actually saw the President-elect speak TWICE in person and the next first lady once. Like Diddy, I felt like my vote was monumental. Once CNN called Pennsylvania for Barack, I KNEW. I felt the "winds of change" ... wow I feel like that came from Pocahontas, like "Colors of the Wind." The song title might actually be more appropriate. ANYWAYS, when John King was playing with his stupid (yet incredibly AWESOME) touch screen map he basically said it was virtually impossible for John McCain to win. But I didn't think they would call it for Barack IMMEDIATELY when the polls closed in California, Oregon and Washington, but when they did I didn't know what to feel... I felt numb. Like Michelle Obama, I finally felt proud of my country.

But enough of that stuff. We drank Baralcohol and colored our electoral maps:
Then Barack finally came and spoke to America.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer. "

"This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we cant, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can."

I texted my Dad when they called it for Barack, knowing that he would be in bed already, and he proceeded to call me when he woke up in the morning at 5AM. He thought I just sent the txt... my god, so I had to talk to him for 10 minutes at 5 in the morning about Barack winning.

Even though it sucked, I can't think of anything else that I would rather wake up that early in the morning for..

Big n Tasty

This week was probably the most blah week of my life. I was in a bad mood 99.999999% of the time, and i was just plain bored. "Ennui" is the word in french that we just learned, meaning not just boring or bored, but stagnate -- like nothing is changing and it never will.

Let me just say this: I HATE ENNUI and it's consuming my liiiife. Yea it might have been a French poetry movement in the 1600s but I feel like its MY LIFE NOW.

Ok, enough melancholy.. This weekend was homecoming at Pitt. People were EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. I was slightly annoyed. I mean, all we wanted to do was go to Garage Door on a Friday night at 1030 and get a table. Did that happen?

GOD NO.

We had to squeeze into the bar area in the back by the pool tables, where we "stole" the area of long haired Kevin (I don't think that was his name, but lets call him Kevin from now on).

Let me tell you a little about long-haired Kevin. He has long hair tied back in a ponytail. He was DAMN SEXY (sarcasm). And he brought he own pool stick to Garage Door.

barf. everywhere.

When Cait spilled her beer on the floor, long-haired Kevin felt like it went on his leather jacket that was saving his chair. Poor long-haired Kevin. Chivalry still exists since he was kindly saving the stool for his own sweaty ass. Regardless, no beer got on his jacket yet he felt the need to act annoyed that beautiful girls were surrounding him and proceeded to wipe imaginary beer off his 1971 leather jacket.

Kope was funny because she kept talking to him, "PLEEASE, there is NO beer on your jacket -- GeT OVER IT."

Finally he must have lost his pool game because he packed up his pool stick and left us all alone at Garage Door.

Poor long-haired Kevin.

Tensions are high in our apartment because we all had sucky weeks, and we all fought before we went out. But everything was fine since our fighting was slightly fake and basically we were all just annoyed with each other.. still whenever I put pictures on facebook the album will be entitled: the night we all hated each other.

The best part of the night was when we took emotion pictures. Either Heather or Eve called out an emotion and we acted.

I'M TELLING YOU NOW: if i'm not a famous actress in five years, call me, because I might be stuck under a fallen bookshelf or something because DAMN girl i got talent.

Lastly, SNL has rocked my world the past couple of weekends. This week Jon Hamm hosted (lead actor from Mad Men) and he was fucking hilarious. Also, the digital short was outrageous and completely entertaining:
That's actually not it, but I feel appropriate for understanding and appreciating the wonder that is Andy Samberg.

It was actually about Rastafarianism, which I had to wiki after my roommates and I watched the skit about seven times. According to wiki: "The Rastafari movement (also known as Rastafari, Rastafarianism or simply Rasta) is a monotheistic, Abrahamic, New Testament, new religious movement that accepts both Jesus Christ and Haile Selassie I, the former Emperor of Ethiopia, as incarnations of God, called Jah or Jah Rastafari. Haile Selassie is also seen as part of the Holy Trinity and as the returned messiah promised in the Bible."
That's the only picture I could find, but it's appropriate.

Oh as to the title I ate the BEST big n tasty after we left Garage on Friday.. fyi. hum hooo.

Brother is Gonna Work it Out

I am so excited for this election. I wish I could be there, but I trust you are holding things together Lindsay. This is the first presidential election that I can vote, and its so fucking crucial. I seriously believe that Obama will bring change to America and end the war responsibly. Just the fact that he isn't using negative campaigning or sleezy robocalls, like McCain, is encouraging enough of new politics.

Honestly even if he does a one-third of what he has proposed with health care, education and foreign policy, we will be so much better off.


I have said before that I am not leaving France if McCain is elected, but I think Tina Fey said it even better when she was talking to TV Guide:

"We're gonna take it week by week. If she wins, I'm done. I can't do that for four years. And by 'I'm done,' I mean I'm leaving Earth."

SO. I am being one of those people who is getting "cocky" and "feeling giddy" because I'M SORRY, he WILL win. ZIN. He has 264 electoral votes to McCain's 163. And there is only 111 points left from NV, CO, MO, OH,FL, IN, NC and VA (although only the REAL, AMERICAN parts of Virginia are going to count).

Le Monde had some great statistics from the last debate and un nombre des mots (word count).

• McCain said Joe the Plumber 21 times, and Obama 4 times.
• Obama said Economy 22 times and working class 6 times.
• McCain said economy only 7 times and didn't mention working class or middle class Americans.
  

I guess this really doesn't mean much, except that Obama is a better speaker. But he really did dominate in all of the debates.


"This election has never been about me. It's about you. In defining moments like this one, Change doesn't come from Washington, it comes to Washington. Change happens because the American people demand it. Because they rise up and insists on new ideas, and new leadership. New politics for a new time. America, this is one of those moments."

In other news, my brothers are coming to Paris in a week. I haven't seen Matt for six months and I have not seen "Chrisn' Matt" for almost 2 YEARS. GOD. How rich, all of us are 21 in Europe. I think we are going to go to London for Guy Fawkes day too. Unreal.

Hum Ho. miss you lindsay. miss pittsburgh and kelly martin.

A Call For Costumes

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE FOR HALLOWEEN? I want it to be smart and funny and fucking awesome. But I want the french to understand me, so it can't be an obscure American political figure.

How about a painting? Okay. I could be 1740's shrimp girl?
Hogarth is still a pretty popular artist right? But where would I find the outfit? And I might not seem approachable or down to earth.

I want it to be sexy so I cant go with my original plan of Vigo from ghostbusters.Haha. Like that is a plan. I am pretty positive I resemble him everyday I wake up. So. I want it sexy but not skanky sexy, obvi. Like secret, french woman sexy. Does this blog not make sense? Deal with it its 4:40 in the morning in Paris. Hum. fucking. ho.

Nuit Blanche: Beaucoup d'alcool, pas beaucoup d'art

October 4th was Nuit Blanche a Paris, which is when all of the museums and churches stay open all night as well as the bars. It is also a night when Paris celebrates the birth of Sofia Noriega, my beautiful roommate.

Lauren and I left the apartment around ten and went to see Patti Smith play at Saint Germain des Pres. But when we got there, you had to already have tickets, which may seem obvious to everyone, but it wasn't at the time.

So Patti, kind of a bitch. We walked on and looked for some art exhibitions. The only thing we saw was Ryoji Ikeda's light projection. And then we said "Putin sa grace" fuck it, and were ready to be drinking. We had a bit of champagne for Sofia's birthday and walked around by Notre Dame and Chatlet.

Then around 1 we went to the first club and STARTED THE PARTY. Seriously, we started dancing and the bar stepped it up. Fake snakes everywhere, dancing on the table. FUN. Iquo was probably the reason dancing was so much fun, she is ridiculous. She actually grinded a water bottle out of my hand, at one point.

Then Lauren and I started talking to a frenchie who quickly became annoying and sketchy. I told him my name was ally and he thought it was 'allez' and tried to make a comedy routine out of it. Not funny. And then he offered a drink so of course I accepted and he goes and picks up a cup from the floor. I am sure it was from a rufie lab, downstairs so I was like NO THANKS.

Time to leave to the next bar. It is about 3 am, and Natalia and Bretlanne are easily the drunkest. Natalia yelled something which I heard as "I'm a FUCKING maverick!" so that was making me laugh all night. We move to a canadian bar and Natalia walks up to a group of british guys who are wearing odd outfits, and screams "WHAT IS THIS GET UP?" haha.

I was a classy lady and didnt get too drunk. And I met some wonderful British guys, Tom especially. We talked about music (reh CARDS) and movies, Ricky Gervais and anthropology. Then at 5 the bar closed and we met some of our friends outside. We sat by the Seine River and drank champagne, until 7 AM. Then Rivo and Rotsy walked us to our metro stop, and we got off a stop early and walked home in the sunrise. Beautiful.

That Sunday I slept until 6pm and then went out to dinner with Sofia. Mmmmm I had spicy tuna sushi.



Things have been good since then. My dad visited and had a good time. And I finally made the perfect print for this hemingway assignment in Photo. Yay.

Love you Lindsay! Missing your gutss.

hey i don't care if it's midterms, ally, post a BLOGG about your british loverr.

the title says it all. look at this pretty picture instead of words:

I'm friends with my old pastor on facebook.

Well, I have encountered a few slightly traumatic events in the past few days. Well really only one.. but i've been stressed. FIRST, i sign into facebook and see i have a friend request.. saaweeeet. love makin new friends.

so i click. WHO pops up? my ollllllllllld pastor. Old in both senses of the word. He's fifty yrs old and isn't preachin at my church anymore. (In an effort to be more like sarah palin, i'm removin the -g from my verbs, so DEAL.) so what do i do? I can't NOT accept him, but i also CAN'T accept for these multiple reasons:

1. he's a repub. and barack obama literally has thrown up on my facebook page. he's everywhere.
2. my last last three wall posts at the time all revolved around "cock day." a day kope made up in my agenda and we felt like actually celebrating.. we didn't.
3. my last album title? RAPING THE CONTINENTAL SHELF. he lives in florida now.
4. last 70 pictures of me? 58 of them i'm at garage with a bottle in my hand.

WHAT IS MY LIFE.

so last night we drank out of christmas mugs then went to garage (shocking). kope and i took saferider back at 415 in the morning after sitting on derek's front porch for 2 hours. he flicked a cigarette at my head then i kicked him in the balls. fin.

p.s. alpal xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo. i miss you hum ho.

rAnDommmnessss xoxo

I wouldn’t call myself a mean person, but I would be lying. I sort of love criticizing people, especially girls. But I think it is ridiculous when girls have photo albums entitled RaNdOm!! And it consists of awkward shots of themselves in their bed, in the bathroom or on the phone. Who enjoys looking at these? Can you put a kitten or a baby in your hands so we have something else to look at other than your huge fucking face? Obviously these people think they are attractive but in most cases they are the most repulsive people on the planet. And underneath their photos are captions that say “just me” or something mind numbingly stupid and superfluous, Maybe its JUST ME but it makes me want to barf, everywhere.

And now, one of those girls that went to my high school is engaged. YIKES. I do NOT want to be engaged but why is it when someone foul finds happiness I am bitter about it? I wasn’t close with this girl but when I walked into Fox and the Hound over the summer, I said hi. Literally after two seconds of exchanging pleasantries she mentions her boyfriend. Fine. That’s sweet, glad you’re happy. But then she tells me her mom doesn’t like him. I don’t know her mom, I don’t ask her why, and I don’t care why. But she goes on and says “LIKE I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT COULD GET ME PREGNANT, YOU KNOW? SO I ASKED MY MOM.” That person is engaged, probably going to have kids right away. She is also voting for John McCain, just to tie things into politics. hum HOOO.

Maybe I am malicious because Paris was not being cute today. I woke up to ASSHOLES tearing up the sidewalk at 7 AM in the morning. My bed was seriously fucking shaking like a vibrating hotel bed. I was swearing so much and SLAMMING things down. Lauren was actually frightened of my intensity. I HATE mornings, especially when I am woken up earlier than I expected. Then I had to go to Shalini Legall’s class, my idiotic art teacher. I gave the construction workers dirty looks as I passed them this afternoon, maybe they will get the point and drop dead. Then we went to McDonalds for the purpose of Monopoly but it isn’t going on in France. And they do not have iced coffee, so it is useless to me. And I went to the photo lab to develop film and I think something is WRONG with my camera because most of the negatives were overexposed. And I left around 9 in the rain, without my umbrella. Why is Paris so dreary tonight? Hum ho?

senator o'biden

is it wrong that mr. biden is the cutest man i've ever seen? honest to GOD. he has the prettiest smile and he really is better than you.

i don't know if anything could make me stand sarah palin but when she called him sen o'biden, i kinda felt like that should actually be his name. obama-obiden? perfectly zinnnn.

but listen in other news, watch this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vtHwWReGU0&feature=related

there are about 75 people in there that i wish to cuddle with.. jen aniston might be one. WHATEVER. she's my female crush. i will not apologize.

powell and i layed in the cathedral flowers last night on our way to the bar to reenact sophmore year pictures... but last night the pictures were BLURRY.
whatever, i talked politics at the bar and we played jo bros twice at garage. all in all? HUM HO.

Hum Ho-ing in the Blogosphere

HEY BLOG READERS! (read: HEY LINDSAY!)


First of all I would like to thank the jerk that took humho as a blogspot. I am pretty positive that we created the phrase HUM HO and all of the connotations that go along with it. And what is worse his blog isn't funny, or smart or EXISTENT. He hasnt written anything! What a fuck!

So the purpose of the blog is to keep in touch while we are in different parts of the world. And for those of us that graduate (a big fuck you to leslie smedley), we can keep writing as we are in different cities for grad schools or jobs.

Paris is amazing. I have never been so in love with a city. We live in an apartment in the 13 arrondisment. Its a nice little home for 4 months, but has only one mini fridge for four girls and a recent installment of terrifying curtains.

I had an awful trip into the city, because the night before I couldn't go out and was laying in bed with a 104 degree temperature. Then on the flight I threw up and could not fall asleep. Then when I finally arrived all of my roommates were here and I got the shitty bits of the apartment; no mirror, a broken shelf, and no curtains. So I asked the Housing department of the program for new curtains and they finally sent someone over yesterday. He had a thick Scottish accent so I kept asking him to repeat things. But he wasnt saying anything important, so I started just nodding along with whatever he said and reading Cosmo.

Not a good idea because after I finished taking a quiz on how willing I am to change for a guy, (Lindsay do you know what MO means? as in "If your friends were asked about your MO in a relationship what would they say?") I looked up and saw the Scott had actually GLUED fabric to my window. He was now saying:

"ouz gat a knee tacks heeya"

which is do you have any tacks here? NO. NO I DON'T. I didn't realize he would be gluing shit to my window, I think I could have done that. And he had other colors so I think he asked if it was okay to use red. Which if I would have understood him I would not have nodded along. I cannot understand Scottish accents. I couldnt read Irvine Welsh's Trainspotting or even finish watching Snatch (which I have tried on several occasions). Pretty sad.

But now the color, which blocks out any form of light, and the dripping glue looks like blood. I feel like I am living in the Reign of Terror, or just a goth 13 year old's bedroom.


Ugh.

In other news I cannot break away from American culture. Seriously I am on facebook way too much and watching Weeds (fucking INCREDIBLE in season 4) and presidential debates. Hum ho, what are you going to do?

I did buy some GREAT Parisian boots and a new skirt. And I am going to get my hair cut like THIS.
All these things should help me be more French.

So that is about it, I am going out to a new bar tonight called Cafe Oz, and tomorrow is Nuit Blanche where the entire city including churches, train stations and museums stays open until 5 o clock in the morning.

Linds are you going to Fall Fest with Saves the Day? I still cannot believe they are playing at Pitt for free. They are one of my favorite bands, and I have liked them since freshman year of high school. Fall fest was my chance to make love with Chris Conley. Hum ho.

Okay, hope you are entertained by our first blog post. Hummmm ho.